1
00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:07,167
(groaning softly)
2
00:00:11,306 --> 00:00:14,274
Okay, who'd like to start
us off with show-and-tell?
3
00:00:14,309 --> 00:00:15,942
Stewie?
4
00:00:15,977 --> 00:00:18,978
Yes, today I brought in
my mother's driver's license.
5
00:00:19,014 --> 00:00:21,915
Now, if you look closely,
she's clearly drunk.
6
00:00:21,950 --> 00:00:23,716
You could put a Breathalyzer up
to that photo
7
00:00:23,752 --> 00:00:25,451
and she'd get a DUI.
8
00:00:25,487 --> 00:00:27,620
Ha-ha, Stewie's naked!
9
00:00:27,656 --> 00:00:29,155
What?!
10
00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:31,090
(laughter)
11
00:00:31,126 --> 00:00:32,559
Oh, my God!
Don't look! Don't look!
12
00:00:32,594 --> 00:00:34,360
Cell phones down!
Cell phones down!
13
00:00:34,396 --> 00:00:36,663
(ominous music playing)
14
00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:43,303
(shouts) What the deuce?!
Stewie!
15
00:00:43,338 --> 00:00:44,971
Run from the monster.
16
00:00:45,006 --> 00:00:47,340
You might have to drive.
17
00:00:48,343 --> 00:00:50,343
(groaning)
18
00:00:52,347 --> 00:00:55,114
Thank you all so much
for coming this evening
19
00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,617
to my very fancy dinner party.
20
00:00:57,652 --> 00:01:00,520
Oh, my God!
I'm at Glenn Close's house!
21
00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:02,622
You look very handsome tonight,
Stewie.
22
00:01:02,657 --> 00:01:04,290
Well, thank you.
And you're the prettiest
23
00:01:04,326 --> 00:01:06,826
of all the women I know
whose name is Glenn.
24
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,828
Everyone,
please finish your salads,
25
00:01:08,864 --> 00:01:11,097
because our main course tonight
is...
26
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:13,933
boiled rabbit.
(laughing)
27
00:01:13,969 --> 00:01:15,435
(laughter)
28
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:17,370
I-I don't... I don't get that.
29
00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:19,639
It seems weird that I'd have
a joke in my own dream
30
00:01:19,674 --> 00:01:21,608
that I don't get.
Oh, thank you so...
31
00:01:21,643 --> 00:01:22,643
(shouts)
32
00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:26,946
(groaning)
33
00:01:29,784 --> 00:01:31,351
Quick, you're
almost on!
34
00:01:31,386 --> 00:01:32,552
What? I'm on?
35
00:01:32,587 --> 00:01:34,587
But I don't know any
of my lines!
36
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,126
(gasps)
37
00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:41,928
♪ It seems today ♪
38
00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:43,930
♪ That all you see ♪
39
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:47,333
♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV ♪
40
00:01:47,369 --> 00:01:50,670
PETER: ♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
41
00:01:50,705 --> 00:01:53,873
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
(mumbling gibberish)
42
00:01:53,909 --> 00:01:57,210
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
43
00:01:57,245 --> 00:02:00,880
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
44
00:02:00,916 --> 00:02:02,482
♪ All the things that make us ♪
(mumbling gibberish)
45
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,484
♪ Pumpkin pie ♪
46
00:02:04,519 --> 00:02:06,152
What the hell? Put
him on the bench.
47
00:02:06,187 --> 00:02:08,554
Wait, please, no!
I just wasn't ready!
48
00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:11,424
Don't worry.
We'll put you in soon.
49
00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:12,625
Ho-ho-ho!
50
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:15,662
Is funny
because you won't be back!
51
00:02:15,697 --> 00:02:16,167
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
52
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:20,168
♪ Family Guy 14x15 ♪
A Lot Going on Upstairs
Original Air Date on March 6, 2016
53
00:02:20,569 --> 00:02:22,569
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
54
00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:23,703
(shouts)
55
00:02:23,738 --> 00:02:26,105
Wait, how did Joe get halfway up
those stairs?
56
00:02:26,141 --> 00:02:27,273
Lois, get in here!
57
00:02:27,309 --> 00:02:29,142
It's dark and I'm frightened!
58
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,280
I think they've got this thing
backwards.
59
00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:37,550
Hey, wake up!
60
00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:40,753
I had a bad dream, so now
your night has to be terrible.
61
00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:42,221
Peter, Stewie's upset.
62
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:44,223
Scooch over so he
can sleep with us.
63
00:02:44,259 --> 00:02:46,025
Oh, come on.
Are you serious?
64
00:02:46,061 --> 00:02:47,694
Last time, he kicked me
all night.
65
00:02:47,729 --> 00:02:50,530
And I got a big day tomorrow.
I got two shows.
66
00:02:50,565 --> 00:02:52,532
All right, folks,
big treat for you today.
67
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,133
He's a little shy.
68
00:02:54,169 --> 00:02:56,803
Put your hands together
for Sham-Peter!
69
00:02:56,838 --> 00:02:59,806
I'm not shy! I'm angry!
70
00:02:59,841 --> 00:03:02,542
I'm in constant pain!
71
00:03:02,577 --> 00:03:05,712
This act has been condemned
by over 30 nations!
72
00:03:05,747 --> 00:03:08,614
I'm gonna kill you all!
73
00:03:12,287 --> 00:03:14,253
PETER: Ah, crap.
I can't sleep like this.
74
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:15,922
And now my mind is racin'.
75
00:03:15,957 --> 00:03:18,191
Like, how does that candle
in Beauty and the Beast
76
00:03:18,226 --> 00:03:20,393
sing so good?
I mean, the teapot I get,
77
00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:22,929
'cause she's a girl. But
the candle, I don't under...
78
00:03:22,964 --> 00:03:24,597
Oh, he's French. That's why.
79
00:03:24,632 --> 00:03:25,798
(coughs)
80
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:27,166
(groans)
81
00:03:29,804 --> 00:03:31,237
Couch it is, I guess.
82
00:03:31,272 --> 00:03:33,039
Oh, my God. The couch is gone.
83
00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:34,574
Where the hell is...
Oh, that's right.
84
00:03:34,609 --> 00:03:36,609
Couchella is this weekend.
85
00:03:36,644 --> 00:03:38,177
(electronic music playing)
86
00:03:38,213 --> 00:03:40,313
Hey, man,
where you been?!
87
00:03:40,348 --> 00:03:43,316
I just had sex with
a girl on her period!
88
00:03:43,351 --> 00:03:45,918
Dude, that's not a brag!
89
00:03:50,492 --> 00:03:52,458
So, how fat are you?
90
00:03:52,494 --> 00:03:54,961
240? Nice.
91
00:03:54,996 --> 00:03:56,963
Oh, Peter! What are
you doing down here?
92
00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:59,465
Oh, hey, Brian. Stewie
kind of took over our bed,
93
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,000
so I'm looking
for a place to sleep.
94
00:04:01,036 --> 00:04:02,402
Well, why don't you
go up to the attic?
95
00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,003
I think there's even
a futon up there.
96
00:04:04,039 --> 00:04:05,605
Huh. That's a great idea.
97
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,273
Geez, I'm glad you came along.
98
00:04:07,308 --> 00:04:10,209
I'm gonna sleep better
than a cartoon sheriff.
99
00:04:10,245 --> 00:04:12,245
(snoring)
100
00:04:14,716 --> 00:04:17,016
(click)
101
00:04:17,052 --> 00:04:19,419
(twinkly toes sound effect)
102
00:04:19,454 --> 00:04:22,755
(quietly): I was in jail 'cause
I killed a bunch of old ladies.
103
00:04:22,791 --> 00:04:25,491
And now that I'm out,
I'm gonna do it again.
104
00:04:25,527 --> 00:04:27,527
(light-hearted music cue)
105
00:04:33,401 --> 00:04:35,501
Wow, Stewie,
you look exhausted.
106
00:04:35,537 --> 00:04:38,504
Yeah, 'cause I was up super late
last night, beefing your mom.
107
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,369
My mom's dead.
108
00:04:39,393 --> 00:04:41,008
Yeah, 'cause I
beefed her to death.
109
00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:43,810
Whoa, what's your problem?
Why are you being such a jerk?
110
00:04:43,845 --> 00:04:46,279
I'm sorry, Brian.
I had the absolute worst night.
111
00:04:46,314 --> 00:04:49,482
I had a weird dream.
A frightening dream.
112
00:04:49,517 --> 00:04:50,983
Yeah, Stewie,
that's called a nightmare.
113
00:04:51,019 --> 00:04:52,985
Sounds like you must've had
your first one.
114
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:54,520
That's what a
nightmare is?
115
00:04:54,556 --> 00:04:56,722
I thought "nightmare"
meant, like, being invited
116
00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:58,124
to an apartment party.
117
00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:59,992
Get a house if you
want to have a party.
118
00:05:00,028 --> 00:05:01,661
I'm not going to a
party in an apartment.
119
00:05:01,696 --> 00:05:02,829
Relax, it's no big deal.
120
00:05:02,864 --> 00:05:04,430
People have nightmares
all the time.
121
00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:07,233
Oh, no, Brian. I am not living
through that horror again.
122
00:05:07,268 --> 00:05:09,735
In fact, I've decided
that from this day forward,
123
00:05:09,771 --> 00:05:12,538
I shall never allow myself
to fall asleep again.
124
00:05:12,574 --> 00:05:13,539
Come on, that's ridiculous.
125
00:05:13,575 --> 00:05:14,740
How do you think
you're gonna do that?
126
00:05:14,776 --> 00:05:16,275
I don't know.
Maybe I'll get a job
127
00:05:16,311 --> 00:05:18,711
working the night
shift at a supermarket.
128
00:05:18,746 --> 00:05:20,379
Hey, where's
the vegetable aisle?
129
00:05:20,415 --> 00:05:23,683
Yeah, right, it's 2:00 a.m.
You're not here for vegetables.
130
00:05:23,718 --> 00:05:26,619
(dejectedly): Well, I got the
12 cucumbers.
131
00:05:26,654 --> 00:05:28,488
What's wrong?
Just this guy at the...
132
00:05:28,523 --> 00:05:30,389
(sighs)
Never mind.
133
00:05:34,295 --> 00:05:35,862
Peter, we have a hamper.
134
00:05:35,897 --> 00:05:38,798
Stop throwing your dirty clothes
in the toilet.
135
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:39,966
Peter?
136
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,834
Peter, where are you?
137
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,703
(video game sound effects)
138
00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:46,939
What's all this?
139
00:05:46,975 --> 00:05:49,408
Oh, hey, Lois.
Welcome to the Pete Pad,
140
00:05:49,444 --> 00:05:52,345
where the dancing's hot,
the drinks are hot...
141
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:53,880
Everything's
just freakin' hot.
142
00:05:53,915 --> 00:05:55,748
What have you
done to the attic?
143
00:05:55,783 --> 00:05:57,016
Well, when I slept up here
the other night,
144
00:05:57,051 --> 00:05:58,618
I realized
what a great space it is.
145
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:01,420
So I dragged up some stuff and
turned it into a sweet hangout.
146
00:06:01,456 --> 00:06:04,757
Even made it extra awesome
by stealing a real street sign.
147
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:06,225
(children giggling in distance)
148
00:06:06,261 --> 00:06:08,394
(tires screech, thudding)
(children scream)
149
00:06:08,429 --> 00:06:10,463
I don't understand. What
are you gonna do up here?
150
00:06:10,498 --> 00:06:12,398
Eh, mostly just burn the roof
of my mouth
151
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:14,734
on unevenly-heated
microwave burritos.
152
00:06:14,769 --> 00:06:17,737
Now I'm busy, so close the floor
and get out of here.
153
00:06:23,178 --> 00:06:24,810
All right, all right,
come on, Stewie.
154
00:06:24,846 --> 00:06:27,146
You've got to stay awake.
I know what'll help.
155
00:06:27,182 --> 00:06:28,481
I'll watch that preview channel
156
00:06:28,516 --> 00:06:30,650
that always has
inconsistent volumes.
157
00:06:30,685 --> 00:06:33,586
ANNOUNCER: They're mother and daughter
but also best friends.
158
00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:36,489
Catch Gilmore Girls
on Channel 367.
159
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:39,524
ANNOUNCER 2 (loudly, blown-out):
You can name your own price
for hotel rooms!
160
00:06:49,337 --> 00:06:51,971
(water gurgling)
161
00:06:53,741 --> 00:06:55,641
(exhales)
Help! Please!
162
00:06:56,911 --> 00:07:00,079
(grunts)
Damn it! Why can't I move?!
163
00:07:01,082 --> 00:07:02,381
(rattling)
164
00:07:02,417 --> 00:07:05,318
(growling)
165
00:07:05,353 --> 00:07:06,519
Aah!
166
00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:08,221
Stewie, you okay?
What happened?
167
00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:09,922
I was just sitting here
on the couch and I had
168
00:07:09,958 --> 00:07:11,624
another nightmare
about that horrible monster.
169
00:07:11,659 --> 00:07:12,992
Okay, that's it.
170
00:07:13,027 --> 00:07:15,161
I'm gonna help you get these
nightmares under control.
171
00:07:15,196 --> 00:07:17,096
Really?
Oh, thank you, Brian.
172
00:07:17,131 --> 00:07:19,632
And maybe I can help you
control your strange obsession
173
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,033
with eating
pencil erasers.
174
00:07:21,069 --> 00:07:23,436
It's not an obsession.
175
00:07:23,471 --> 00:07:24,971
Mmm, mmm, oh, yeah.
176
00:07:25,006 --> 00:07:26,672
Oh, so rubbery. Mmm.
177
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,841
It's like a little
steak. Mmm, mmm.
178
00:07:28,876 --> 00:07:30,142
Brian, you really should...
179
00:07:30,178 --> 00:07:32,245
The world is small and
safe when I do this!
180
00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:40,676
Okay, Stewie, I read the review
of a dream book on Amazon,
181
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,111
so I think I can help you.
182
00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:45,381
Literally every other tab
is open to Lusty Matures.
183
00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:46,949
Yup, that's what
it takes now.
184
00:07:46,984 --> 00:07:48,917
Anyway, it says here
that most nightmares
185
00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:50,853
are born of
subconscious fears.
186
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,554
So maybe if we make
a list of the things
187
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,690
you're most afraid of,
we can face and conquer
188
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,558
these fears together, and
then your nightmares'll end.
189
00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:58,727
Huh, that's actually
a good idea.
190
00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:00,929
Like the U.S. Army Reserves.
191
00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:02,398
(explosion)
192
00:08:02,433 --> 00:08:05,100
We're completely surrounded.
We need reinforcements.
193
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,302
You know who could
really bail us out?
194
00:08:07,338 --> 00:08:11,140
Somebody who works five days
a week at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
195
00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:17,646
These new digs of yours
are pretty great, Peter.
196
00:08:17,682 --> 00:08:20,049
Hey, I brought
construction paper and markers
197
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:22,017
in case you guys
want to draw breasts.
198
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:25,788
Cool. But before that, who's up
for another insulation fight?
199
00:08:25,823 --> 00:08:27,556
I'm in.
Heck yeah.
200
00:08:28,559 --> 00:08:29,892
(giggling)
201
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,493
Ha!
(giggling)
202
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,529
Gotcha!
203
00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:37,132
Missed me.
204
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,001
Sneak attack!
205
00:08:39,036 --> 00:08:41,036
(all giggling)
206
00:08:42,306 --> 00:08:44,306
(coughing)
207
00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:47,109
What are you
doing up here?
208
00:08:47,144 --> 00:08:49,044
I need you to take
the trash out.
209
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,312
You know what?
I'm gonna use this
210
00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:52,681
Peter Doesn't Have to Take Out
the Trash coupon
211
00:08:52,717 --> 00:08:53,849
that I got for my anniversary.
212
00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:55,551
You gave that to yourself.
213
00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:57,519
I don't know,
it says "official."
214
00:08:57,555 --> 00:08:59,254
Oh, forget it,
I'll do it myself.
215
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:02,224
This whole attic
business is ridiculous.
216
00:09:02,259 --> 00:09:04,226
Hey, guys, check it out.
217
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:06,328
I'm a lady.
218
00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:07,663
Joe...
219
00:09:07,698 --> 00:09:10,165
you hit a home run with
that, I want to try it.
220
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,405
All right, Stewie,
time to tackle your fears.
221
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,607
Now, it sounds like
you're scared of monsters.
222
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:21,110
So to help you get over it.
here's Frankenstein.
223
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:24,113
(growls)
I'm Frankenstein.
224
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:25,814
I'm actually really nice.
225
00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:28,851
There's no need
to be scared of me. (growls)
226
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:30,119
Seriously?
227
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:32,087
This is obviously
Chris in a costume.
228
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:34,022
Huh. Well, that
can't be possible.
229
00:09:34,058 --> 00:09:36,692
Because here comes Chris
walking in the door right now.
230
00:09:36,727 --> 00:09:39,261
Hey, hey, hey.
Here comes Chris Griffin,
231
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:40,562
a-roodly-toot-toot.
232
00:09:40,598 --> 00:09:41,930
Yeah, okay,
whatever, Meg.
233
00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:43,165
Meg?
234
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,033
You must be
talking about me,
235
00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:47,069
a-roodly-toot-toot.
236
00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:56,445
Do they all say
"a-roodly-toot-toot"?
237
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,946
A lot of them, yeah.
238
00:10:02,052 --> 00:10:03,685
Chris, I'm putting
together a load of laundry.
239
00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:05,621
You got anything?
240
00:10:05,656 --> 00:10:07,156
(muffled cheering)
241
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,124
Damn it, Peter.
242
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,627
Are you guys playing lawn darts
in the attic again?
243
00:10:11,662 --> 00:10:12,995
PETER:
No.
244
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,263
Yay, lawn darts!
245
00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:15,664
Peter wins lawn darts.
246
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,399
She's dumb.
She got no idea.
247
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,001
(sighs)
248
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,402
(laughing)
249
00:10:20,437 --> 00:10:21,770
All right, Peter,
that's enough.
250
00:10:21,806 --> 00:10:23,338
It is time to
get out of...
251
00:10:23,374 --> 00:10:24,807
What the hell?
252
00:10:24,842 --> 00:10:27,509
Oh, yeah, we put Joe
in Stewie's old Jolly Jumper.
253
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:29,845
You told me this was
a paratrooper's harness.
254
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,580
Shut up, baby man.
255
00:10:31,615 --> 00:10:33,182
That's it. This
is our home,
256
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,217
not some frat house for
you and your friends.
257
00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:37,553
Now, I want you out
of this attic now.
258
00:10:37,588 --> 00:10:38,787
No way, we ain't leaving.
259
00:10:38,823 --> 00:10:40,255
We're having
too much fun up here.
260
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,558
Quagmire just showed us
his Eric McCormack impression.
261
00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:44,259
There could be
no such thing.
262
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,861
Well, that's what I said,
but then he did it,
263
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,163
and I was like, "Oh, all right,
okay, yeah, kind of."
264
00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:50,432
Fine. You like the
damn attic so much?
265
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:52,301
Then enjoy the attic!
266
00:10:52,336 --> 00:10:53,902
(electric whirring)
267
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,074
Did... did she just
lock us in here?
268
00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:00,475
It looks like it.
269
00:11:00,511 --> 00:11:04,246
Guys, spin me back.
I didn't see what happened.
270
00:11:07,818 --> 00:11:10,419
So, how'd it go last night?
Did we cure your nightmares?
271
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:12,621
No, not at all. They
were worse than ever.
272
00:11:12,656 --> 00:11:14,623
Which is why I built this.
273
00:11:14,658 --> 00:11:16,658
♪ ♪
274
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,499
What the hell is that?
275
00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:26,568
It's a Digital Dream Interface.
276
00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:28,337
You see, once connected
to this device,
277
00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:31,206
you will be able to enter
my sleeping mind, where
278
00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:33,282
you will end these horrible
dreams once and for all.
279
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,643
I'm gonna do what?
280
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:35,944
(babbles)
281
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:37,246
What... what-what
does he want?
282
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,480
What is he saying?
283
00:11:38,515 --> 00:11:39,948
I think he's saying
"a-roodly-toot-toot".
284
00:11:39,984 --> 00:11:42,284
We just can't understand him
because of the way he talks.
285
00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:43,552
(babbles)
286
00:11:43,587 --> 00:11:45,854
Oh, no, no, I think
he just needs a ride home.
287
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,342
Stewie, you can't be serious.
288
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,810
Oh, I'm very serious.
289
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,179
You and I will place these
cranial impulse receptor caps
290
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,981
on our heads, I shall
begin my slumber, and...
291
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,657
And then this thing
will actually allow me
292
00:11:58,685 --> 00:11:59,851
to enter your dream?
293
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,119
That's right, Brian.
294
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,187
I want you to come inside
me while I'm asleep.
295
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,622
Do-Don't... don't
say it like that.
296
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,891
And once you're in my
dream, your job is to stop
297
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,327
these nightmares by finding
that monster and killing him.
298
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,195
This isn't a job
for the meek, Brian.
299
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,264
When you get in there,
you've got to be hard.
300
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,732
Okay, but that
felt intentional.
301
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,134
All right,
let's get to it.
302
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,728
This is your receptor cap.
303
00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:20,304
Over here is your REM monitor.
304
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,506
What's this thing do?
305
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,474
Oh, that's just a little
bike bell for fun.
306
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,410
(rings)
I found it at the crosswalk
307
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,045
where those kids
got creamed the other day.
308
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,279
Anyway, let's get started.
309
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,314
♪ ♪
310
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,011
Hello? Stewie?
311
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,851
♪ ♪
312
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,824
Ah, you must be
Brian. I'm Glenn.
313
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:16,327
Yes, I know. You were
very mean in 101 Dalmations.
314
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,564
Thank you. Would you like
to do the Bristol Stomp?
315
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,632
♪ The kids in Bristol
are sharp as a pistol ♪
316
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,068
♪ When they do
the Bristol Stomp ♪
317
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,347
How does he even know this?
318
00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:25,772
♪ Really somethin' when
they join in jumpin' ♪
319
00:13:25,773 --> 00:13:28,180
He heard it once in the car.
♪ When they do the Bristol... ♪
320
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,777
Jeez, Lois
is really serious.
321
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,812
I can't believe
she left us up here all night.
322
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,481
Damn it, we got to do something.
323
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,883
Maybe if we just scream for help
someone'll hear us.
324
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:42,186
Help! Help! Help!
325
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,855
MAN: In case of a bear attack,
you should
326
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,490
A, lie down,
327
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,258
B, run downhill,
328
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,727
or C, stand your ground?
329
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,900
♪ ♪
330
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,969
(whooshing)
331
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,971
...and just because
of the roles I play,
332
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:03,307
people always assume
I'm very serious in real life.
333
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,209
Yeah, I could see that.
But I'm not.
334
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,612
I'm very capable
of being silly, too.
335
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,914
See, watch, I'll show you.
336
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,183
Fart.
337
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:15,453
I, uh... Did-did...
did you just say "fart"?
338
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,089
Yes, that's me
being rather silly.
339
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,524
Well, hello, Brian.
340
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,192
I say, what
brings you here?
341
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,661
Stewie, hey! I'm here
to find and kill the monster
342
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,129
that's been causing
all your nightmares.
343
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,764
Oh, that sounds
wonderful! Let's do it!
344
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,032
Oh, but real quick,
345
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,168
I'm just gonna turn
into Elmo for a second.
346
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,636
Hi, Brian!
347
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,639
Elmo speak bad English
on educational show!
348
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,407
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
349
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,442
Okay, I'm back.
Let's go.
350
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,879
This way to the
subconscious.
351
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,781
(whooshing)
352
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,651
(liquid gurgling)
353
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,554
(Muzak playing)
354
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,856
Oh, this seems rather pleasant.
Yeah.
355
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,358
Hey, you know, that Glenn Close
salad actually wasn't bad.
356
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,928
Yeah, a lot of my dreams
have pretty good salad.
357
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,232
Oh, no.
What?! Where are we?!
358
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:02,633
We're at the doctor!
359
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,536
Time for a baby shot
in your fanny!
360
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,370
(yelling)
361
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,540
(quiet whimpering)
362
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,376
(rhythmic clicking)
363
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,712
(both yell)
364
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,048
(yelling)
365
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,518
(flames whoosh, yelling)
366
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,453
(laughing)
367
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,790
(yelling)
368
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:31,629
Come give Grandpa a sloppy,
old-man, coffee kiss!
369
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,398
(yelling)
370
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,370
(high-pitched whirring)
371
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:46,210
(growling)
372
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,818
Would you like some candy?
373
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,520
Help me find my lost puppy?
374
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,257
I like your mouth and butt.
375
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,025
(yelling)
376
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,526
What the hell was that?!
377
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,729
Lois has painted a very
dark picture of abduction.
378
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,197
(both grunt)
379
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,100
Adult stuff,
adult stuff, adult stuff.
380
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,103
The world is scary,
adult stuff, adult stuff.
381
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,740
Scary people yelling in another
part of the world, adult stuff.
382
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,041
(screams)
383
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,510
I wish Mom wouldn't watch
the news in front of me!
384
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,646
Coming up: a map with
a hurricane on it.
385
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,849
(in deep voice): And you don't know
your states yet!
386
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,922
(upbeat banjo music playing)
387
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:35,226
Aah! That one trip to the
petting zoo really messed me up!
388
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,894
I saw too much!
389
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,396
(whoosh)
390
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,298
(yelling)
391
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:45,536
(whoosh)
392
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:50,941
(clacking)
393
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:51,942
(grunts)
394
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,078
Stewie, look!
395
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,279
(growls)
396
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,381
(gasps)
It's the monster!
397
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:58,949
Quick, Brian!
Kill it!
398
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,251
Oh, there you guys are.
399
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,652
I would've been here sooner,
400
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,722
but one of my legs is a snake
that's very hungry for mice.
401
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,390
(mouse squeaking)
402
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,259
(magical chime)
403
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,794
(mouse squeaking)
404
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,064
(hissing)
405
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,399
(grunts)
406
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,634
(air whipping)
407
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,805
(yells, growling)
408
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,972
(growling)
409
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,474
(yelling)
410
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:31,115
(hissing)
411
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,586
Nice shot.
Get it? Shot?
412
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,088
All right, bye!
413
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,056
(mice squeaking)
414
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,726
You did it, Brian!
415
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,828
You killed
the monster!
416
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,330
(hissing)
417
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,033
(gasps)
What the hell?!
418
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,368
It's me!
419
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,136
Oh, my God,
you're right!
420
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,038
But I... I don't understand.
421
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,140
Why am I the source
of your fears?
422
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,842
Huh. I'm
not sure.
423
00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,244
Maybe this means
that deep down,
424
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:03,681
the thing I'm most afraid
of is disappointing you.
425
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,684
Me? Wh-Why do you care so much
about what I think?
426
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:07,918
Well, think about it.
427
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,820
You've been more of a
father figure to me
428
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:12,089
than the fat man ever
has been or ever will be.
429
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,091
Look, I know
I'm always busting your balls,
430
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,794
but it's just because you're
the only person in this house
431
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,863
whose judgment
actually matters to me.
432
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,599
Wow. Thanks, Stewie.
433
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,468
But listen, you-you never have
to worry about letting me down.
434
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,103
I'll always be proud of you.
435
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,172
In fact, I already am.
436
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,106
You are?
437
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,274
'Course I am.
438
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,076
I mean, you're only a baby,
and yet,
439
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,111
you're one of the most
amazing people I know.
440
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,313
Well, thank you, Brian.
441
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,618
Well, Stewie, seems like
my work here is done.
442
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,420
What's the best way
out of here?
443
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,188
Oh, yeah, no, that
one stays locked
444
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:45,556
until the overnight to Vegas
445
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,458
with my college
a cappella group.
446
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:55,199
Peter, I'm going
crazy up here.
447
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,367
We all are!
448
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,502
You got to talk to Lois!
449
00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,737
Damn it, you're right.
450
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,705
Lois, let us out of here!
451
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,974
No way! You like it so much?!
452
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,976
Then you can rot up there
with your buddies!
453
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,244
Lois, so help me God,
454
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,113
if you don't let us out
right this second,
455
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,048
I'm gonna take a dump
on your wedding dress!
456
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,349
You wouldn't dare!
457
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,685
Don't test me. I'll do it!
We'll all do it!
458
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,120
Quagmire, pull down
your pants!
459
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,588
QUAGMIRE:
What?! I'm not doing that!
460
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,223
You leave my dress alone, Peter!
461
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:22,460
CLEVELAND: If it'll get us out of here,
I'll make a doodie on it.
462
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,694
QUAGMIRE:
What, are you nuts?!
463
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,329
CLEVELAND: I've been crowning
for six hours!
464
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:26,831
PETER:
Cleveland's pants are off, Lois!
465
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,466
Here come mine!
This is happening!
466
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,401
QUAGMIRE: Lois, they're not bluffing!
Open the door!
467
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:31,735
JOE:
I miss Bonnie!
468
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,370
Damn it, Peter,
you hold that in!
469
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,605
I know you can!
470
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,307
You did it on the ferry
to Block Island!
471
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,975
QUAGMIRE:
Oh, my God, I'm gonna puke!
472
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,110
PETER: That's good! Puke on the dress!
Puke on the dress!
473
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,512
Aah, damn it!
474
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,116
MAN (over headphones):
Not all snake bites are lethal.
475
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,319
(grunts)
476
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,954
(all yelling)
477
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,222
There! You happy?!
478
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:53,691
You were too late.
We pooed on the gown.
479
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,793
Ripped a big hole
in your ceiling, too.
480
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,161
I barfed on Peter's ass.
481
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,263
I-I don't know if it got
on the dress or not, Lois,
482
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,798
but I-I am... I am so sorry.
483
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,467
Yeah, this was all
a huge disaster.
484
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:07,872
Let's just agree that we both
went a bit too far, hmm?
485
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,907
I, uh... I might...
486
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,810
I might need two weeks off
from this friendship.
487
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,053
Stewie, you awake?
488
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,588
Did you have any nightmares?
489
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,956
I don't think so.
490
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,591
(gasps)
Did you get rid of the monster?
491
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,027
Sure did. Turned out
that monster was nothing more
492
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,295
than a manifestation
493
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,797
of your subconscious desire
not to disappoint me.
494
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,833
Apparently, I'm like
a father figure to you.
495
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:39,169
Okay. Wow. Somebody's
got a big head.
496
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:42,640
Stewie, I want you to know...
I'm very proud of you.
497
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,075
All right, that's...
that's awkward.
498
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,976
How-how am I supposed
to respond to that?
499
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,178
You are a good person.
Stop complimenting me.
500
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:51,115
"Oh, I sure hope the dog
approves of who I am."
501
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,417
I'm out of here, weirdo.
502
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,685
(door opens)
503
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,760
There's a wedding dress out here
covered in (bleep).